6 Signs What You Think Is Love Is Really An Illusion

We all remember the iconic Disney classics "Cinderella" and "The Little Mermaid." We remember the magical storyline and the intriguing characters. 

 We were intrigued and believed that love was either black or white—with no in-between

. But love is a bit more difficult than that. Fortunately, Linda Meredith, a certified trauma expert

1. The 'love' comes with conditions.

Meredith adds, "I love you includes loving your partner beyond status or material things."If you or your spouse are struggling with this, counselor Urvashi Marashi suggests that you consider leaving the relationship. She puts it this way: "When a relationship affects us negatively and hinders our growth, it's high time to reevaluate it and at times, end it."

2. Your actions in the relationship are fueled by trauma.

To handle trauma, we must first understand and acknowledge how it affects us. Though it may appear clear, many of us go through life unconsciously dealing with the consequences of unresolved trauma.

3. You experience the toxic quartet: criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt.

John Gottman, a researcher and couples therapist, discovered that these four behaviors are the most reliable indicators of a relationship's termination.Let's face it: continuously expressing criticism is ineffective and can have long-term detrimental implications. If you combine this with stonewalling or disrespect, your partner may begin to believe that you no longer love them.

4. They insist on double standards.

Double standards can be a deal-breaker in any relationship. After all, it's infuriating for your partner to anticipate particular care and not reciprocate.This type of hypcritical behavior can be a clear indication that what you have together isn't the kind of love you were probably seeking for.

5. The relationship is emotionally immature.

Emotional immaturity, if not addressed swiftly, can lead to emotional damage. And let us be clear: rudeness should never be condoned in any relationship.

6. One of you wants the other to change but isn't willing to work on themselves.

Telling your partner to pay attention while scrolling through your phone is a classic example of hypocrisy, given how frequently we do it. But, as the cliché goes, everyone is a hypocrite, even you and me.

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